A Confession & A New Hack

Storytime with Ruby

Wanna know a secret?

I have a mini-freakout every time I press send; on instagram, via email, for work.

Some days are easier than others, but I can feel my nervous system toggle into 'on'-mode the moment the piece goes out into the world.

What happens next? Will people resonate? Will they see the thing at all? Will they hate me now?

It's too easy to get sucked in to the loop of digital dopamine, letting likes, views, and replies (or lack thereof) weigh in on my mood and self-esteem.

My biggest downfall has always been caring what other people think about me. It keeps me quiet and anxious, always wondering if I'm gonna be liked. It's why showing up on social media became so incredibly impossible post-pandemi.

But it's also this caring that I believe makes me so good at what I do. I really care. About you. About my work. About making a positive impact in the world.

Thankfully my self study practice helps me re-center, nurture, and come back home to myself.

Over the years I've adapted and adjusted to habits that make showing up in the virtual world less disregulating.

• Now I sleep with my phone in the kitchen, and I try my hardest not to look at my phone in the mornings until I've had my water, my five-minute journal, and a little reading. This is huge!
• I do and let be. 'Just do it' is a personal posting motto. Press send, and walk away. Go for a walk. Shift gears. Drink some water. Have a little snack.
• I keep my IRL folks close. I make sure to connect with people who love me on a daily basis. To remind me that I'm so much more than what a stranger (or friend!) on the internet thinks about me.

This month in the Self Study Program our theme is Trust. Self-trust is the building block that creates the platform for courage. Showing up online feels like courage to me, so the more I build that trust with myself, the less I freak out. The more quickly I can level-set.

It's been this reminder of Trust (and my most recent obsession with faerie books) that led me to my most revelatory digital hack that I'm calling CharacterCraft.

This is where I imagine and utilize an avatar or character to support me in embodying traits I struggle with (like self-trust in the face of the world wide web). I've started using this kind of 'role-playing' to embolden myself to say what I need to say in a playful spirit.

If it's Fairy Princess Rhiannon who has something to say, I'm likely to let her. I'm less inclined to perfect myself to death, because I trust Fairy Princess Rhiannon, who represents the part of myself that I already trust deeply.

Not only does this little game help me show up more fully, it's so fun to imagine myself as a character! It's like actually getting to be the heroine of the fairytale.

Bringing play into the mix has been the key to unlock a greater sense of ease in the virtual realm for me. Plus, it helps me IRL when I have something challenging or scary to face. It's a win-win!

Kate and I have had a blast scheming up personas for our own CharacterCrafts. So much that we're hosting a workshop for this exact exercise! So that you can embody your fullest self through imagination and tap into the fiercest parts of you for an emboldened sense of self-trust now.

Mark your calendar for Wednesday, July 10th, 6:30-8:30pm ET - We're still working on all the marketing details, so the official page and price is TBD, but if you sign up now, you can join us for just $19! Whenever we go live the price will go up, so go ahead and RSVP to save your spot.

* if you are currently enrolled in the Self Study Program this workshop is included and you will receive the direct link to attend closer to the date

I hope to see you there!

And in the meantime: What's 1 thing you can do for yourself this week to support your nervous system in the face of something that feels challenging but important? 

You're Doing Great,
Ruby