I was different then. I like me more now.

Storytime with Ruby

I just got back from a spontaneous and life-changing trip to London to see my college bestie (and Taylor Swift!!!). We have another friend from college who is the photographer for Paramore (they opened for Taylor on the European leg of the Eras Tour). When he reached out to my friend about getting tickets, and she told me about it, I was like "Sooooooo I'm coming to see you?!"

There was a time in my life when I'd never let myself do something so big so last minute. There was too much at risk for my well-put-together life. Too much 'responsibility.' I would've been too anxious to say yes or to suggest a last-minute opportunity of a lifetime.

As a Virgo moon, I'm constantly seeking stability. Always on the search for the perfect routine. It's a blessing and a curse that I am perpetually consumed with the desire to strategize, curate, and optimize. 

That being said, I used to have the perfect routine. Having a plan was more important than anything, and I have the discipline of a workhorse. So I just did it. I did all the things I deemed necessary and checked each one off my list with an enthusiastic ☑️☑️☑️

But you know what I never expected?

It felt more like stress than freedom.

I became so attached to my ideal routine that it would ruin my day if I didn’t do every single thing on the list. 

Truthfully, I rarely had time to do the dozens of things I aspired to do… which means my days were ruined a lot.

Worse yet, I made it my fault that I couldn’t ‘just do it all.’ 

The pressure would build. I’d feel like a failure. And then I’d do it all again tomorrow.

I missed out on so much LIVING during the phase of my life, {{ first_name }}.

I certainly never would have bought a standby ticket to London with less than a month's notice. 

I knew deep down that I needed the structure. That if I could fix my self-destructive tendencies, I could ‘atomic habit’ myself to victory.

(Turns out those ‘self-destructive tendencies’ were actually just symptoms of adhd. Mixed with perfectionism. Which is a whole thing for another day.)

After college I was so exhausted that I tried not having any routine for a while. Just do what I felt like when I woke up. But at the end of the day, I felt lost; incomplete; unsettled. It was actually harder to get out of bed because even though I couldn’t fail anymore, I didn’t have anything solid to look forward to.

FINALLY I forged a new way. Thanks to the My Self Study Practice! It’s grounded and intuitive. Consistent and malleable. Purposeful and enjoyable. 

I know myself well enough to take good care of myself wherever I am. I don't have to have the perfect plan or environment in order to meet myself with what I need.

I finally have the freedom to trust myself, which means I can do the unexpected without being anxious about it.

Doesn't that sound nice?!

IT IS!

I’ve built you a toolkit so that you can do the same! (You're Welcome 🤗)

This is for the perfectionist adhd’er intuitives like me who get devastated by the pressure of perfection but equally paralyzed by the decision fatigue of totally ‘going with the flow.’

It's 50+ audios to guide you in 18 practices that nourish your Mind, Body and Spirit, guidance and transcriptions to support, and even a bonus 30 day challenge.

Discover the transformative power of routines (that work FOR YOU) in my course, Queen of Routine 👑✨ for only $33! (Price goes back up to $99 on 8/28)

Learn how to create intuitive habits that bring clarity, energy, and joy to your daily life without the added stress of it being perfect.

Let's do it together, shall we?!

Here with you every step of the way,
Ruby