Feelings and Needs - We All Have Them, What Are Yours?
Nov 23, 2022We all have feelings and we all have needs. The problem is, most of us don't know what our feelings are here to tell us, or how to meet our needs.
Click here to learn more about your Anger: what it is, how it's here to help, and what to do with it.
Knowing how we feel and what we need helps us make choices in our lives that feel self-led. This self knowledge tells us what we need to do for self-care - our emotions and inherent needs tell us how we need to be taken care of. This knowing, or wisdom, helps us choose relationships that are supportive and fulfilling, find jobs that fulfill our needs for creativity, meaning, and autonomy, and know when we need to eat, drink water, or move our bodies.
When we know ourselves, we're move able to communicate with our loved ones and therefore create more intimate relationships and partnerships. For instance, when you notice that you feel withdrawn from your partner, you may also be able to recognize that you have a need for cooperation. Once you know that, you're able to say to your partner something like, "hey I notice that we haven't spent a lot of intentional time together recently. I feel withdrawn from our relationship and I notice that it feels connected to the ways that we aren't clear on our roles in the house. Can we collaborate more by making a chart of what needs to be done and who's going to do it - I think this will help clear a lot of my mental load around our house work and I'll feel less withdrawn and more connected." Or maybe you notice that you're feeling self-conscious in your body and coupled with that is a need for affection and play. In this situation you become more capable of saying to a friend, "hey I'm feeling super self-conscious about my body and I'm really hoping you can remind me of some specific ways that you like me and maybe we can even get together and go on a fun bike ride or something fun that we enjoy together?! I'm just feeling heavy hearted and ugh... I could use some fun! Are you in?!"
Here's an excerpt from Heart Talk by Cleo Wade - page 14-15:
Knowing your needs is a superpower.
Our world often tells us that there is something wrong with needing something or someone, or that expressing our needs is somehow a sign of weakness. This is completely untrue. Knowing our needs is a limitless superpower, one that can help us make all the big decisions in life. When we know what we need from a partner, we spend much less time dating the wrong people. When we know what we need to feel challenged and motivated by our work, we are much more tuned in to what we want our career path to look like. And when we know what we need in order to be our best selves, we are much better at showing up as that person in our relationships with our friends and family. Be unapologetic when it comes to your needs. They are, at the very least, deserving of being seen and heard. What are your needs? Create a list of your needs and make space for them in your life. Respecting and expressing your needs can superpower your life. Start by recognizing them.
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