Trustfall, Baby: The Lie of Readiness and What You Can Do Instead

Storytime with Kate

I woke up to two texts this morning from men in my life:

One from my friend Matt that was a link to Pink's song Trustfall

And the second was from my friend Russell that said, "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY!"

And so I'm sitting here, writing to you, listening to Pink sing about how sometimes it's just a trustfall baby, on a beautiful day in Richmond Virginia :)

I'm in my robe still, drinking hot fresh coffee out of this ginormous colorful mug, and the fog hasn't lifted from the trees yet. My 10 year old dog is next to me on the couch. I'm in my childhood home, and my monstera cutting from my friend Taylor is unfurling a new leaf as we speak.

Ruby and I have been talking with clients a lot recently about the idea of being READY.

Ruby and I both agree: we've never been "ready" for anything.

- Matt was one of my very first clients when I started my gym getFIT615 in 2014. He stuck with me through those first many years of me doing trial by fire. He trusted me, and I got to trust him back. We've been friends since 2015. He married the first trainer I ever hired. I stood with them at their wedding. Matt was our first male guest on the Self Study Podcast podcast and talked about Courage and his incredible book "Not Yet Too Far Gone" that's journal entries and commentary about his first year of sobriety. I wasn't ready for a friend like Matt, and I wasn't ready to change my life and his through opening up a business. But a decade later, we've grown up together. It's been a trustfall, baby.

- Matt was part of a very small crowd of clients who witnessed my trustfall into business ownership. AND my trustfall out of a big long relationship and into my own personhood. The choice between keeping what is now, or trustfalling into what I believed could be possible for my life. I wasn't *ready* for either, but what stood on the "before" side, I wasn't ready to settle for either. 

- After years of living alone, WANTing to live alone, and believing that living with someone else would, for some reason or another, mean that I'd always be having to accommodate them by hiding parts of myself, I found my best friend Taylor had moved into my little apartment on Blair Blvd. in Nashville. His mattress was on my living room floor, he had cleaned my kitchen, and he had reorganized all of my furniture. Part of me panicked because I suddenly felt like my space had been taken over by someone else and I would have to start living on his terms. I had two choices that I could make: make Taylor move out because I really wanted to be in control or, go down the path of living with my best friend who helps me feel alive and more like myself every single day. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, but I made it anyway. Living with Taylor, to this day, is one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. He brings so many parts of me back to life and if I had waited until I felt "ready"... I wouldn't be who I am today.

- In 2020, after years of having a 1 year plan that would lead me towards my 5 year plan that worked towards my 10 year plan, the motto became "do the next right thing." For about a year, that meant pivoting everything about once every two weeks. I wasn't ready for that. But here I was: owning a small business in the midst of COVID-19. One day, the next right thing in my bones was to sell the business and move to Colorado to be closer to my sister and new niece - I certainly wasn't ready for that. But Taylor helped me pack up my uHaul and do the next right thing. It was the end of the most beautiful era of my life: live with your friends in your 30s. I wasn't ready to drive off that day but through tears and a huge hug Taylor said, "I can't wait to come visit you soon. I'll miss you here so much."

- Overnight, I became my niece's main caretaker as my sister and her husband went back to work. I guess I will say, that I've never felt more ready for anything than to be her aunt. That role came on so fast, and so naturally. But the readiness didn't come first, the leap did. 

- Colorado wasn't it for me. So as I do when I can tell something has to change, I took to my journal. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I started writing about my future. I like to tell stories about my future sometimes... and I started writing about moving home to my childhood house that I SWORE I'd never live in again... and the writing just kept coming. The dreaming was happening, the excitement started to bubble up, and before I knew it, I was packing up my car again and driving East. Zero parts of me were ready to leave my niece. But every part of me was ready to leave Colorado. I wasn't ready for my breath to be taken away by the light that comes into the living room every day... but here we are.

- I needed to find a reason to leave my house when I got here (so much of my work for My Self Study Practice happens from home on my computer). But a huge part of what I know I need to feel WELL, is community. So I figured, "what the hell, I'll go find a personal training job that I can do part time." I wasn't looking for a new gym home because I thought I wouldn't be able to find that kind of community again. I had created it for myself in 2014, and I didn't think I had the capacity to do that again after having my heartbroken like I had in 2020/2021. That was until I stepped into Russell's brand new gym that hadn't even technically opened yet, "Moore Than Fitness." I wasn't ready to fall in love with a gym space again, but it happened fast and without my permission :) Russell had spent months hand-painting the dumbbells in rainbow colors... say less.

The best, most life altering things that will happen in your life won't happen because you're finally ready for them.

They'll happen because you make a choice and then live in it.

You show up.

They'll happen because you allow yourself to be swept up by living, instead of thinking.

It's a trustfall, baby.

Trust is the second theme of the My Self Study Practice.

Today, I want to invite you to apply for the 2024 Self Study Program.

First you fill out the application.

Then, you schedule a call with us.

After that, you make a choice: trustfall into the 10 month program, or stay where you are.

The facts are, after you have a phone call with us, you truly might feel like, "Hey, where I'm at is truly ok for me." It's ok to like who you are and for your life to feel like it's enough :)

but if that's not something you can actually believe right now, then do the program.

Trustfall into the program.

There won't be a time when you feel ready.

Throughout the program you'll learn so much about who you are and how you are and what feels like YOU decisions. You might even like yourself on the other side ;) GASP

So are you ready? No, you're probably not :)

Do you want to anyway?! 

Apply for the 2024 Self Study Program today. Schedule your phone call with me and Ruby.

Let the journey home, begin.

You're doing great.

xo,

k